Where have our dreams gone?

Instead of studying for my accounting final, I am sitting in the cafeteria of my business school writing my first blog. I always wanted to be a blogger and I thought it would be begin when I studied abroad last semester, but I never got to it. So here I am about to pour my heart out to who-knows-will-read-my-blog. 


I don't know if you call this a quarter life crisis, but it sure is something. Up until now I have always been that confident girl who knows what she wants in life and goes for it. Recently, I've been doubting myself. Sometimes I feel like I gave up on my dreams because I'm scared of the unknown and stopped believing in myself. I ran into a friend walking into the cafeteria today and we talked about our plans after graduation in May. He saw me holding my intermediate accounting encyclopedia of a book in my hand and asked "are you doing the MAC program?" I replied "Yes, but I'm not sure if I want to do it." The next few words he told me were probably the best advice I've received in a while; he simply said "Then don't do it; you're too interesting to be an accountant." He told me his plans after graduation is to move to LA and pursue his dream: a career in acting. He told me that this is the prime time in our lives:we are 21, and this is the time before we have serious relationships, mortgages to pay, and heavy responsibilities, so why not go for our dreams. If we don't do it now, we will regret it in the future. The thing is, he is absolutely right. 


I admire what he's doing. He is actually doing what he wants to do. Then why can't be as brave and do what I want to do? Are people these days too scared to reach for their dreams because they bounded by the standards that society sets for us? Did we stop believing in ourselves because we feel that going to college, getting a degree, and working in the corporate world is our destiny in life? I know deep in my heart that being an accountant is not for me. Then why am I going through with it? For security reasons, for my family, for having a stable job and making money? Sometimes I feel like a puppet being controlled by society. I don't want to live like this. I'm Tiffany: spontaneous, quirky, confident, passionate, and a go-getter. Where has this girl disappeared to?


I've said this a lot to people recently: "sometimes I wish I could just buy a one-way ticket to somewhere else and just start my life there." Then reality hits me: where would I get the money for the plane ticket, for living expenses, for other expenses. In the end, does it come down to money? Do people give up their dreams because of materialistic boundaries? I think so because I am the prime example of it. The truth is, I don't know exactly what I want to do in the future. I feel more confused now than I did coming into college. One thing I do know is; I don't want to be another puppet in the corporate world climbing up the corporate ladder. Decisions, decisions...