I always thought I knew where was I was going for the next year of my life. I was going to pursue my masters degree right out of college and then start working after that. Oh how life loves to play jokes on people. After this weekend at home with my mom and brother, I decided to hopefully defer my admission for a year. There are so many reasons why I decided to do this and I definitely cannot go into detail in this blog, but just know that some of it deals with my family, some of it is personal, and mostly because this is just the right thing for my family and myself at the moment.
How well do we actually know one another? How well do friends actually know about the personal life of a friend? I can tell you that even some of my closest friends know close to nothing about my family, and honestly, I'm going to keep it that way. One of my friends once told me, "Tiffany, out of all our friends, I probably know the least about your personal life." Of course she wasn't talking about all my boy drama because pretty much that stuff is out in the open, but she was talking about my family situation. Most people probably don't even know my parents are divorced or that my father is not part of my life at all. I'm bitter about it and I'm angry at him, but what can I do. Being angry and upset won't make him start being a good father. I believe things happen for a reason and that everything that my family and I have gone through will only make us stronger, only make us better.
It's weird. Life. How it's so unpredictable and sometimes it just comes and bites you in the ass. I'm going to make this year count. Who knows, maybe after a year I'll know for sure I don't want to do the MAC program and maybe I'll never do it. Maybe I will. I guess time will tell. I feel that up until now I've been living for my family and what I ought to do, but why can't I live for both my family and myself? I've decided that from this moment on I will live for both. One day I will be able to take care of my family completely. One day I will become the daughter that I always wanted to be. One day I will be happy in my career. Just taking it one day at a time.
This is Life.
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